I Joined the Great Resignation Last Week

Feel free to read the blog post below or listen to the audio version/podcast on SoundCloud.

I joined the Great Resignation last week. I didn’t walk. I gave three weeks’ notice, and although work has become more of a whirlwind, I feel extreme relief at a deep level.  However, I have been up most the eve wondering why.  Not so much ‘why did I leave my job’, but ‘why is this happening’? ‘Why are so many people leaving their jobs’?  Do we all have the same reasons and motives?  What does this mean for the world and new normal (a term I’ve had trouble with since 2020, but reality is, this is so new normal)?

And, of course, since it’s almost 2 am, I am asking questions like ‘since when was I a trend follower’? And inevitably the one question that surfaces now and then ‘what the hell am I thinking’?

Ok, so why did I leave my job is fairly easy to explain and it’s the question everyone is asking…  I was completely burned out.  Did you know that burnt out is also an option when describing burnout? Not sure if that is relevant or useful – but an interesting ‘fun fact’.

Yes, I was stressed which I’m usually able to push through. This was different.  This was pure and utter feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. I truly didn’t see a way out from what I was feeling.  I technically started my journey to burnout out a little over a year ago when I wasn’t able to support my Dad the way I wanted to following a stroke.  We were trying to keep him out of the hospital due to lockdowns but there was no choice, he had to be admitted and things went from bad to worse. I could only get him out weeks later when he came home to hospice for less than 24 hours before he passed. 

Work kept me sane and focused following the various traumas that continued to hit us. But that all changed in 2021. 

I have been working in healthcare for the past five years – I’m definitely a Type-A ‘get things done’ type of girl, and I am highly empathetic.  That formula is a disaster during a pandemic, or so I’ve learned for myself and through many of my colleagues.

Helplessness surged and that was even more viral than COVID. There was NOTHING I could do to support my healthcare colleagues as they fought off the despair and depression. I tried everything.  Some of us set up text/email groups so we could send out jokes and memes.  We would schedule regular check-ins and I would give them a safe space to vent.  I was pulled into a corporate crisis response team, developed toolkits around emotional well-being, and I even began speaking to groups and developing trainings on ‘It is ok not to be ok’ type content.

I was so impressed with how we shifted our efforts as an organization to address burnout and mental health, but the odds were not in our favor.  

Did I/we make a difference? I think so, but I couldn’t shake the helplessness.  The more I poured my heart into supporting my colleagues and clients, the more I looked in the mirror questioning how much more could I handle without losing myself in the process.  I was still being hammered with caring for my quickly declining mother, and starting to feel the pain of my dear friends and other family members. This wasn’t just being stressed out, this was full-blown burnout, and most likely side orders of PTSD, secondary trauma, and compassion fatigue.

Ok, so back to the Great Resignation.  Here I am, two weeks left to go at work and as I shared, I’m feeling relieved with my choice. As the announcement of my departure hit the airwaves, it became a series of ‘exit interviews’.  Everyone wanted to know where I was going and most people seemed completely supportive, in fact, inquisitive about my choice to leave the full-time corporate world. 

As soon as I shared my motives, I learned that many of us are feeling the same things.  We’ve learned we don’t need to work as hard, travel as much, meet as much, and even produce as much.  And given everything we have let go of and how much change we’ve experienced, we are desperately searching for a sense of belonging and looking for ways to find balance again.  We all seem to be reflecting on the past couple of years looking to make sense of where we have been and where we are going.

The year 2020 taught me that efficiency and relevance were key.  We had to let go of the old ways of getting things done – no more classroom trainings, travel, face-to-face meetings.  We had to cut back on everything from spend to resources to people. If there wasn’t a real need, we didn’t put energy into developing or managing a program or process.

On the home front we learned to live on less and also learned to live more meaningfully as life technically became less complicated. 

Prior to our new normal, Jeff and I would literally coordinate our flights as we both traveled quite a bit for work – so that one of us was always on the ground in case our daughter needed us.  Delayed flights and missed connections stressed me right out, but we always managed through the situation and the stress.

In 2021, however, burnout consumed me and of course, impacted every aspect of my life. The relief of not having to figure out travel and schedules made life easier, however, the toll of the pressures and demands hitting me and my work peeps was too much.

By the end of 2021, I didn’t see positive changes coming in the near future.  I had no motivation, I lost hope. I dreaded waking up each morning and invariably had a panic attack the night before I had to go back to work following weekends or holidays.  My heart rate elevated and sustained itself over 100bpm for weeks. Vertigo was part of my new normal, and I realized, I needed to make a choice for my little family and me.

What’s fascinating to me about burnout is that you don’t feel it coming on…it truly just creeps in.  I am also learning that you can love what you do and love the people you work with, but still be burned out.

I see that now, but I didn’t for the past few months.  For good or for bad, I have formed very deep friendships with many coworkers over the past year, and I truly believe we helped each other through some really dark days. Whether grabbing a glass of wine for a virtual happy hour and venting about anything and everything to setting up regular check-ins to just talk about something other than work for a few minutes, it was incredibly powerful.

Those friendships and bonds also contributed to secondary trauma and compassion fatigue, as many of my colleagues started finding new jobs, walking out with and without notice – their pain and struggle became yet another trigger — and I felt even more helpless.

It was tough to experience the loss of a coworker, even when I knew I would maintain the connection outside of work. I missed working with them, having them as part of the teams we supported – plus in some cases, those ‘left behind’ often picked up added roles and responsibilities.  So the burnout continued to creep in. 

So, what did I do? I put out a call for help to my awesome boss and she gave me an order to take some time off and find myself again.

It was a tough choice and it took many weeks, however, I decided that no matter how much I loved my boss, my colleagues, and how supportive the company has been, it wasn’t going to be enough.

I also learned in reaching out to others in different companies, this wasn’t just an organizational issue.

Every day I had former coaching clients asking me to help them figure out how to get out of their own despair and hopelessness.  We started working on resumes, I did job coaching, even supported many as they decided it was time to start their own businesses. 

On my own time during the holidays and on weekends, I began creating podcasts, interviews, and other resources to support the greater good, not just my organizational colleagues. 

It was like an avalanche.  I was slammed with requests for support.  I didn’t want to counsel, nor did they want that. We all wanted to feel hope again, so we co-created pathways that would support light at the end of the tunnel.

So, here I am at 2:22 am standing in that dream.  I’ve created Forged by Life (www.forged-life.com) for myself…for the world. 

In some ways, I’ve become an ‘expert’ on helping myself and others move from crisis to transformation. I have spent many years studying the workforce. I am addicted to researching historical events from plagues to wars and everything in between and how from every crisis comes a renaissance of sorts. I live for trends and data around our people and workplace development programs – and the future of the workforce.  And, as always, I’m focused on how to maintain efficiency and relevance using digital tools while addressing the needs of our most amazing resource – humanity. 

I have met so many talented and passionate people and have talked to many I already knew who have their own stories and are looking to move past the traumas and transform their lives.  I’m actually incredibly excited to see what unfolds for all of these sparks just waiting to ignite.

If you had asked me what new normal would look like a month ago, I probably would have given you an impassioned answer.  Given this past week and the reception I’ve had about the next phase of my journey, I am more than excited for where this will go. 

My Dad always told me to focus on what I can do and trust that when I do great things it will ripple out. Here’s to the ripple effect and creating a space that can positively influence new normal.

Thanks for reading / listening to this late-night reflection. I welcome the opportunity to talk to you about what your new normal could look like.

Peace, hope and love y’all!