Interview with Jennifer Hippensteel – February 2022
Jennifer is an author, holistic health practitioner, Reiki master and business consultant with a deep desire to help empower others to find their balance. With 25 plus years of education and experience in natural medicine and Reiki, Jennifer offers her clients insight and healing for all that ails them. Learn more about Jennifer here.
Jennifer, you recently wrote about releasing what no longer serves us… and probably never did… What do you mean by releasing what no longer serves us?
Many talk of the need to release that which no longer serves us… the need to acknowledge… embrace… and release all that has been hurting us and holding us back.
Here are some examples of things that we can hold close that do damage without release:
I find that when I need to release something, I am able to name it, maybe write it down, but then what?
For some this can be a very difficult thing to do. They might get through the first two steps but when they hit the releasing point, they flounder… perhaps a part in them doesn’t want that pain gone from memory… perhaps in a way harboring it has felt like protection… a reminder to not be hurt like that again.
Sometimes I think we need a tangible place to put that pain… that anger…. Maybe so that we can revisit it when needed….
If we do the spirit work.. find those heavy parts that have been weighing us down. Greet them like old friends…. Embrace them in their entirety… feeling it all….. then what?
Consider putting those emotions into a creation… a painting… a poem… a song… something tangible that you can see and touch…. So that when you look upon it you know you’ve given that pain a place to be that no longer resides in you. No longer capable of dragging you down and hindering your progress.
Keep in mind that this is your creation… you don’t have to be an artist to choose the colors of your pain and add it to paper…. Your writing won’t be critiqued by any but you. But if you choose to revisit these old emotions… they will be there in full color or words to remind you that you no longer need them because now you are moving forward. Your creations become your reward for doing the hard work and releasing all that holds you back from a peaceful and loving life.
Don’t be afraid to pull these heavy parts out… to hold them in your heart and head until you can release them into your hands… and then into a creation of self-love… a piece of art that perhaps only you will ever see… but as you create your masterpiece of self-awareness…. You will feel your spirit lighten as the pain leaves you and is poured into something you no longer have to carry. Together we walk this path of self-discovery and enlightenment… may we be honest with ourselves and love ourselves enough to do our own healing.
Despite being on the phone with my Mom’s nurse for hours last night and holding space for my Mom yesterday and this morning so she could vent incoherently as the Dementia blurs her thoughts and behaviors for the worse, I think I’m ok.
I got up early, put on some music, and packed up my laptop and phone to my former employer.
I’m going to head into town later to ship them off and might just take a few minutes to check out the antique and stationary store while there. Usually I’m trying to cram in as many errands as I can during my lunch break, not strolling around without the dread that comes with having meeting after meeting all day, so this is starting to feel good!
I made a cucumber, apple, parsley, lemon smoothie a few hours ago and sat back and enjoyed it. Usually I’m trying to chug it down and make sure I brush my teeth to get the parsley out before someone tries to video call.
I actually just finished a real breakfast, which is something I don’t get often. Even made cheesy grits to go with my omelet.
A few times I heard an email or something ding on my phone or personal laptop, but soon the ‘conditioned response’ degraded as I realized – I don’t have to be tethered to my devices anymore!!!! I don’t have to keep Teams open all the time!!!! (this was a self-induced issue I had with making sure I was always available to support my peeps)
I can schedule out my world my way. And, yes, I am still in my PJs (kind of a conscious choice to make sure I realized it was ok not be prepared for an impromptu video call).
I guess I should have been doing some of these things on the weekend, but there was always something – from visiting my Mom to catching up with Jeff and Emma after working 12 hours days most weeks…to laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, blah blah blah.
Doesn’t matter, I’M DOING IT NOW!
So, am I still the poster-child for burnout? I think I’m making my way. And, I’m certainly not trying to call out my old job or rub anything in anyone’s face. I’m just letting you know there is light at the end of the tunnel when you stop focusing on everything else that keeps you from looking up or ahead — so you can create that light.
Have a good week everyone – and if you can, do something for you that breaks up that routine and removes those tethers. It can be as simple as blocking some time on the calendar and muting your device, turning off Teams, and Outlook – even for an hour and focusing on something you need. I ‘get’ that things are insane right now, but what is the cost of you not taking care of your self right now? Keep looking up and ahead!
This is an actual photo of me overlooking the Grand Canyon 16 years ago- thought about it this morning and realized it has so many similarities to the Forged by Life art we designed (unintentionally) Love it!
How Will I Make It on My Own??? That is the most frequently asked question over the past few weeks. It’s not that people think I can’t be successful; they just want to know how I will do it? How will I handle not having the security of a steady paycheck. What will I do for health care insurance?
Don’t get me wrong, every single person I’ve talked to since announcing my departure from full-time employment to start Forged by Life has reinforced my decision. I keep hearing “this is your ‘wheelhouse’ and if anyone is going to succeed doing this, it will be you!” So if they believe in me so much, why were they asking me those questions around ‘how will I make it on my own’?
I’ve started to realize that me making it on my own isn’t the issue. It’s a mindset issue and technically a projection of what they are feeling. People weren’t voicing there concerns for me — for many, it was truly about them. They wanted to figure out how they would make it if they left their job without another safety net known as a steady paycheck and healthcare insurance / benefits.
The most common messaging was around retiring early (before meager social security benefits can even start) or around starting their own gigs. It was wild to learn how many are truly ‘done’ with the 9-5 grind. When I would ask them what is holding them back each one of them said: steady paycheck and health insurance benefits. Well, here’s my secret – it starts with my mindset around who I am, what I am meant to do, and how I see the options available to me.
First of all, mindset – I made the absolute commitment to myself that whatever I do, it would bring about unlimited possibilities. I’ll be honest, I had to hold that space as the alternative was hopelessness and despair.
I believed deep down there would be enough purposeful work for me — and for anyone else who wanted to join me in shifting the world out of crisis. Many friends and former colleagues were struggling and it was clear they were meant to do something more, so we have been creating it together – I committed to nurturing a co-creative and supportive space for anyone who wanted to ‘join the team’ at any capacity. I have been able to help create financial flow for them too, as I truly believe momentum is key especially when shifting mindsets.
Emma’s concept design for Forged by Life
I also had to trust myself. I truly had to believe in my dreams. I started living them out in my mind at first, then I started to play and create. As the ideas started to flow, I would journal or blog and start organizing my ideas. I looped in Jeff and Emma so that they were now helping me focus on my dreams. Emma drafted logos for Forged by Life and we all brainstormed out what this dream would look like.
I began telling others outside of the little family about what Forged by LIfe looked like and the dream became more and more real. Most importantly, I put it back to the Universe and asked for actual tangible proof that this was going to be the right thing. And, it was clear that as long as I chose to do this for all the right reasons, with pure intent, it was going to flow – and it so has! I’m not even scared anymore, I just know it’s right. (and this is all since late December 2021!)
This is truly the hardest part when you are sitting in a space of despair or hopelessness. Building momentum to support the mindset shift was key – and I’ve been replicating that process for the virtual incubator partners who have stellar ideas and passions and want help making it so. It’s amazing to watch what we’ve accomplished in the matter of weeks as we grow their dreams too!
Ok, so on to the things that tethers us to the corporate world and our full-time gigs – steady paycheck — As far as the steady paycheck, I had a full-time job with my former employer and I still received a pay cut when COVID hit. For many of those who didn’t get a pay cut they got cut — quite a few losing their jobs temporarily or permanently.
We aren’t new to the ebb and flow of work, and even in the past two years Jeff has been experiencing challenges with his work. He’s been working for a company for almost 25 years and they had to pause business as kicking off live-conference events and doing in-person training events came to a standstill. Now Omicron is wreaking having on the training / travel industry so his work has slowed down again considerably, and for a contractor, that’s not a good thing.
The one thing I can share with you – the steady paycheck is not something that should keep you from living your dreams. Nothing is life is guaranteed, especially a steady paycheck, even more so now.
When I explain the paycheck concept from my view, most people agree and share their similar experiences. So they ‘get’ that even with a full-time job, there are no ‘promises’ anymore about steady income. In fact, many have been doing side-hustles to save for a ‘unsteady pay’ period.
I can share that I am projected to make more in February than I did in January working less hours, with a flexible schedule, AND, that is with hiring friends and former colleagues to support my dreams while building theirs… pretty cool! (Check out our Virtual Incubator Businesses page to learn more!)
Next is the healthcare benefits thing, Ok, so first of all, we need a major overhaul of this system to bring about healthcare equity. I may take that on one day, but for now, I think we all need to know, the traditional system of monthly premiums, deductibles, and co-pays isn’t truly supportive of your well-being, nor does it save you money for your healthcare needs. I’m going to trigger some people on this one I am sure, as I’m not walking in their shoes right now, however, I do get it at some level.
I have been in a situation that was catastrophic to my health and became so in-debited literally and figuratively to a healthcare benefits plan and system that wasn’t looking to heal me. It sucked me in – and then spit me out when I ‘maxed out’ my benefits – as my injuries outweighed their coverage. That’s when I woke up to what was happening.
I saw that I was paying into a bloated and manipulative blob that had vague and unethical practices and because of my choice to be part of it, I actually made things worse for others who couldn’t afford to be part of the healthcare benefits ‘club’ by supporting this system. That is what ultimately influenced my choice to vote with my feet and I exited us from ‘healthcare benefits programs’ in 2014.
Prices for care, for providers, for treatments, for prescriptions were absurdly inflated. Our finances became doomed and we had to look elsewhere for help. It wound up being the right thing for us as I found a holistic healer who accomplished more with me in one day than the best specialists in two states couldn’t do in almost a year. We continued to private pay holistic providers who got to the heart of the issues I was having and, when needed we would private pay for conventional services. It was significantly cheaper to pay for my own x-rays at the local hospital than it was to have health insurance.
Here’s what we figured out on paper and I encourage you to do the same:
The cost of healthcare benefits per year (multiply monthly premiums x number of people in your family participating) – for us we were talking about $8K per year eight years ago. I have no idea what our costs would be now, as we haven’t had health insurance since. That is an estimated $64K in premiums for us.
The deductible, meaning what would you have to pay out-of-pocket before the full benefits kick in is what we calculated next. I did a quick internet search and saw the average deductible is almost $2000 for an individual. For the three of us, that could be another $6K per year. Which works out to an estimated $48K for eight years.
So, let’s stop there before we even think about co-pays and co-insurance. This isn’t supposed to be complicated, but just part of that mindset shift we were talking about earlier. Jeff and I identified for our little family of three that the cost of healthcare for us would be about $14K per year! This doesn’t include co-pay/co-insurance. And in our case, didn’t cover any of the holistic services and products we use.
$14K per year!?! We decided right then and there that we would put that money aside and use it for the services and treatments we wanted, not the ones that were shoved down our throat. We didn’t want to ride the referral train or have one ‘fix’ lead to another diagnosis anymore. We wanted to be in the front-seat and choose the care that made the best sense for all of us. So where are we now? Well, that was in 2014. ObamaCare/ACA came along and hit us with $2000 a year penalties for three years, so I’ll cut $6K off the top.
–> $8K per year for 8 years = $64k for premiums –> $6K per year for 8 years = $48k for deductibles
TOTAL FOR US: $112K we would have had to pay (instead we paid $6K for ObamaCare/ACA penalties. That works out to a potential $112K out of pocket ($14K per year) for healthcare which we didn’t need.
$112K for health insurance we didn’t think we needed!?!
Don’t get me wrong, we needed healthcare, but not the type that didn’t align with our lifestyle. We choose chiropractic, energy work, acupuncture, massage, and other holistic practices. We invest our ‘savings’ into real foods, raise our own hens for eggs, and bees for honey. We grow our own food when possible using organic sustainable practices. We use herbs and supplements to support our wellness.
We have had health issues from broken bones to black widow spider bites and Lyme – but nothing that we couldn’t work through with our holistic community for a LOT less than $14K per year – and to be honest, we were already paying for the holistic services out-of-pocket since 2003.
Just to be clear, Emma got a horrific spider bite years ago and I took her to an emergency clinic where they proceeded to tell me she needed surgery and they would have to cut into muscles and tendons and destroy her arm. I paid the $150 which was the cash price for the visit and took her immediately to a naturopath who helped us work through Emma’s healing with homeopathy and other modalities. No surgeries, no scars, no damage — it was scary but in my heart I knew it was the right thing to do. Not from a financial cost savings standpoint, but from a I’m not putting Emma through the nightmare and trauma that the alternative presented. I have hundreds of stories of how holistic care has supported all of our needs – even when it came to cancers and strokes.
The wisdom I am hoping to share is that maybe having a healthcare benefits plan isn’t something you need. Maybe there are other ways to cover for catastrophic events while you pay out of pocket for routine care. I’ve been researching other options too like co-op/health-share and ‘insurance disruptor’ type programs that are bringing affordable and ethical solutions to those who want more than just the ‘savings’ that comes from not having coverage through a traditional plan.
And, don’t forget if you do get injured, there are other coverages you may have in place with an auto or homeowners policy – and if it happens at work, you should be covered there too. Keep in mind, if you are injured -for example – in a car accident, even if you have health insurance, auto policy coverage will likely handle quite a bit before your healthcare policy kicks in.
Here are a few alternatives to traditional healthcare plans:
Sidecar(calls itself a health-insurance disruptor) is currently available in 16 states. I love their model! See what you think and if you are using a similar type approach, please comment and let us know how it works for you:
Also, there are many health-share / co-op programs available through different faith-based and secular groups. I recently found a well-reviewed company called Zion Healthshare. Here’s one of the reviews that provides useful information. Might be worth checking out as an option.
Here is a review of six of the top Health Shares in 2022 from Well Kept Wallet.
At minimum, before you stay somewhere that is toxic to you, in a situation that impacts your well-being (and you may want to examine the effect stress is having on your health), consider the possibility that you aren’t stuck. Know there are options. Whether you explore the financial costs or the game-changing programs that are out there – don’t stifle your dreams because of ‘practical’ issues. Do your own math and research. The rules are changing and you have an opportunity to vote with your feet (and dollars)! You may even find a creative way to expand healthcare options for your community.
Anyone have other suggestions or thoughts around this information? Would love to hear your insights! Feel free to reach out to me if you want to talk through possibilities.
Take care y’all! Here’s to positive mindset shifts and a new normal where we all can thrive!
I am taking tomorrow (Sunday) off from producing anything. Why? Because I can, because I need to, because I refuse to be the poster child for burnout anymore..
Announcing my departure from my full-time job brought relief in the moment, but has been overwhelming in some ways and heart-breaking in others. I have had so many fantastic conversations with co-workers who have been sharing their own stories, hopes, and fears. I have had many requests for coaching, virtual incubator partnerships, and consulting opportunities. I even got a few more speaking engagements!
And, as expected, there are many requests for transition plans and meetings as it relates to my current job. I literally worked 12-14 hour days all week and have been driven by timelines/deadlines (self-induced and just the ‘cost’ of leaving a job). Tomorrow, I breathe, I play, and take a break from anything that adds pressure to do, and not just be.
In the meantime, here is a resource I wanted to share with you all.
I found this while working on a presentation related to burnout and self-care. I will be putting many of these into play for myself tomorrow. Let me know which of these (or other) ideas work for you as you practice self-care.
I joined the Great Resignation last week. I didn’t walk. I gave three weeks’ notice, and although work has become more of a whirlwind, I feel extreme relief at a deep level. However, I have been up most the eve wondering why. Not so much ‘why did I leave my job’, but ‘why is this happening’? ‘Why are so many people leaving their jobs’? Do we all have the same reasons and motives? What does this mean for the world and new normal (a term I’ve had trouble with since 2020, but reality is, this is so new normal)?
And, of course, since it’s almost 2 am, I am asking questions like ‘since when was I a trend follower’? And inevitably the one question that surfaces now and then ‘what the hell am I thinking’?
Ok, so why did I leave my job is fairly easy to explain and it’s the question everyone is asking… I was completely burned out. Did you know that burnt out is also an option when describing burnout? Not sure if that is relevant or useful – but an interesting ‘fun fact’.
Yes, I was stressed which I’m usually able to push through. This was different. This was pure and utter feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. I truly didn’t see a way out from what I was feeling. I technically started my journey to burnout out a little over a year ago when I wasn’t able to support my Dad the way I wanted to following a stroke. We were trying to keep him out of the hospital due to lockdowns but there was no choice, he had to be admitted and things went from bad to worse. I could only get him out weeks later when he came home to hospice for less than 24 hours before he passed.
Work kept me sane and focused following the various traumas that continued to hit us. But that all changed in 2021.
I have been working in healthcare for the past five years – I’m definitely a Type-A ‘get things done’ type of girl, and I am highly empathetic. That formula is a disaster during a pandemic, or so I’ve learned for myself and through many of my colleagues.
Helplessness surged and that was even more viral than COVID. There was NOTHING I could do to support my healthcare colleagues as they fought off the despair and depression. I tried everything. Some of us set up text/email groups so we could send out jokes and memes. We would schedule regular check-ins and I would give them a safe space to vent. I was pulled into a corporate crisis response team, developed toolkits around emotional well-being, and I even began speaking to groups and developing trainings on ‘It is ok not to be ok’ type content.
I was so impressed with how we shifted our efforts as an organization to address burnout and mental health, but the odds were not in our favor.
Did I/we make a difference? I think so, but I couldn’t shake the helplessness. The more I poured my heart into supporting my colleagues and clients, the more I looked in the mirror questioning how much more could I handle without losing myself in the process. I was still being hammered with caring for my quickly declining mother, and starting to feel the pain of my dear friends and other family members. This wasn’t just being stressed out, this was full-blown burnout, and most likely side orders of PTSD, secondary trauma, and compassion fatigue.
Ok, so back to the Great Resignation. Here I am, two weeks left to go at work and as I shared, I’m feeling relieved with my choice. As the announcement of my departure hit the airwaves, it became a series of ‘exit interviews’. Everyone wanted to know where I was going and most people seemed completely supportive, in fact, inquisitive about my choice to leave the full-time corporate world.
As soon as I shared my motives, I learned that many of us are feeling the same things. We’ve learned we don’t need to work as hard, travel as much, meet as much, and even produce as much. And given everything we have let go of and how much change we’ve experienced, we are desperately searching for a sense of belonging and looking for ways to find balance again. We all seem to be reflecting on the past couple of years looking to make sense of where we have been and where we are going.
The year 2020 taught me that efficiency and relevance were key. We had to let go of the old ways of getting things done – no more classroom trainings, travel, face-to-face meetings. We had to cut back on everything from spend to resources to people. If there wasn’t a real need, we didn’t put energy into developing or managing a program or process.
On the home front we learned to live on less and also learned to live more meaningfully as life technically became less complicated.
Prior to our new normal, Jeff and I would literally coordinate our flights as we both traveled quite a bit for work – so that one of us was always on the ground in case our daughter needed us. Delayed flights and missed connections stressed me right out, but we always managed through the situation and the stress.
In 2021, however, burnout consumed me and of course, impacted every aspect of my life. The relief of not having to figure out travel and schedules made life easier, however, the toll of the pressures and demands hitting me and my work peeps was too much.
By the end of 2021, I didn’t see positive changes coming in the near future. I had no motivation, I lost hope. I dreaded waking up each morning and invariably had a panic attack the night before I had to go back to work following weekends or holidays. My heart rate elevated and sustained itself over 100bpm for weeks. Vertigo was part of my new normal, and I realized, I needed to make a choice for my little family and me.
What’s fascinating to me about burnout is that you don’t feel it coming on…it truly just creeps in. I am also learning that you can love what you do and love the people you work with, but still be burned out.
I see that now, but I didn’t for the past few months. For good or for bad, I have formed very deep friendships with many coworkers over the past year, and I truly believe we helped each other through some really dark days. Whether grabbing a glass of wine for a virtual happy hour and venting about anything and everything to setting up regular check-ins to just talk about something other than work for a few minutes, it was incredibly powerful.
Those friendships and bonds also contributed to secondary trauma and compassion fatigue, as many of my colleagues started finding new jobs, walking out with and without notice – their pain and struggle became yet another trigger — and I felt even more helpless.
It was tough to experience the loss of a coworker, even when I knew I would maintain the connection outside of work. I missed working with them, having them as part of the teams we supported – plus in some cases, those ‘left behind’ often picked up added roles and responsibilities. So the burnout continued to creep in.
So, what did I do? I put out a call for help to my awesome boss and she gave me an order to take some time off and find myself again.
It was a tough choice and it took many weeks, however, I decided that no matter how much I loved my boss, my colleagues, and how supportive the company has been, it wasn’t going to be enough.
I also learned in reaching out to others in different companies, this wasn’t just an organizational issue.
Every day I had former coaching clients asking me to help them figure out how to get out of their own despair and hopelessness. We started working on resumes, I did job coaching, even supported many as they decided it was time to start their own businesses.
On my own time during the holidays and on weekends, I began creating podcasts, interviews, and other resources to support the greater good, not just my organizational colleagues.
It was like an avalanche. I was slammed with requests for support. I didn’t want to counsel, nor did they want that. We all wanted to feel hope again, so we co-created pathways that would support light at the end of the tunnel.
So, here I am at 2:22 am standing in that dream. I’ve created Forged by Life (www.forged-life.com) for myself…for the world.
In some ways, I’ve become an ‘expert’ on helping myself and others move from crisis to transformation. I have spent many years studying the workforce. I am addicted to researching historical events from plagues to wars and everything in between and how from every crisis comes a renaissance of sorts. I live for trends and data around our people and workplace development programs – and the future of the workforce. And, as always, I’m focused on how to maintain efficiency and relevance using digital tools while addressing the needs of our most amazing resource – humanity.
I have met so many talented and passionate people and have talked to many I already knew who have their own stories and are looking to move past the traumas and transform their lives. I’m actually incredibly excited to see what unfolds for all of these sparks just waiting to ignite.
If you had asked me what new normal would look like a month ago, I probably would have given you an impassioned answer. Given this past week and the reception I’ve had about the next phase of my journey, I am more than excited for where this will go.
My Dad always told me to focus on what I can do and trust that when I do great things it will ripple out. Here’s to the ripple effect and creating a space that can positively influence new normal.
Thanks for reading / listening to this late-night reflection. I welcome the opportunity to talk to you about what your new normal could look like.
10 minute podcast of this blog post is also available here
It blows my mind how many people I know are experiencing absurd situations, heightened family issues, toxic work environments, burnout, and all out chaos. Based on human history, my own life experience, and what I call ‘deep knowing’, I don’t think this all out craziness is cause for concern, technically. I think we are hitting a tipping point — in a good way.
Many of us have been digging deep and finding levels of strength we’ve never had to experience at this level, for this duration – in such trying times. And, for whatever reasons, due to what ever subconscious or conscious choices we make, we may feel isolated and alone. Not because people don’t care, but because we are ‘keeping distance’, internalizing, and trying to just deal with the darkness and stress that is keeping us stuck in our tunnels. In fact, it might feel safer to be stuck than to venture out into the world…and may have for almost two years now!
I know personally, I spent last year avoiding asking for help and talking to people that sincerely care for me, because I felt I was depressing to be around, all I could do was put on a ‘brave face’, but would feel worse when left to the chatter in my head and stories I had chosen to believe. And in so many ways I felt completely alone.
As I turned my focus to emotional well-being for myself and my healthcare colleagues who were also struggling after riding the high of being superheroes giving up everything to keep the lights on and maintain safety for our people and patients, I began to realize that I wasn’t truly alone. In fact, there were many others who felt like I did.
I was being tasked with building emotional well-being resources with a focus on compassion fatigue and burnout. I have technically become an expert in those areas with a focus on the science behind emotions, the stress response cycle, and how to work through burnout, compassion fatigue, and PTSD.
When I was asked to go to Florida in December and present to a group of Clinical Nutritionists and Dietitians who work in our hospital systems, I was concerned that my anxiety would kick in, that the repeated traumas I had experienced over the past couple of years would bring me down to rock bottom again, that all my training and work would dissolve as I ventured hours away from the safe bubble of my isolated paradise in the mountains of Virginia. Instead I found the large group of participants so needed to hear my stories. They needed the science and the strategies. They needed to share their own stories. And I needed to prove to myself that I still could be around people, stay in a hotel, travel, laugh, celebrate with Jeff, embrace joy again.
Since that presentation, I have received requests to speak about the same topics and even be a co-presenter at a conference outside of the organization all around burnout, compassion fatigue, PTSD, and ‘new normal’ in general. One of the key messages that seems to resonate and spark hope with everyone is that we truly are just making our way through a really long and exhausting ‘road trip’. At some point, however, that road trip will transform into something positive and meaningful. If you look at how pandemics, plagues, significant traumas work, they have patterns. With situations like the one we are in with the lockdowns, the Great Resignation, and all of the shifting sands there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Take a look at the below Psychological Phases of Disaster. You can apply this to individual or collective trauma / disaster. Whether I think about 9/11, my Dad’s passing, or even the current pandemic, I’ve seen all of these phases and envision myself at the last blue arrow. I’ve been to this place a couple of times in the past few years, and thought I was almost out of the tunnel, but bam, I got knocked on my ass a few times and had to revisit some parts of the process.
Others I know or work with may be at the disillusionment phase or the 2nd to the last arrow just trying to come to terms with everything. There’s no ‘right or wrong’ in all this. Grief is not linear, nor do we all process through things in the same way. We each have our own journey, however, you may see some similarities as we all travel the road to reconstruction and new beginnings.
At the end of the day though, that light at the end of the tunnel is our hope. It is whatever you need it to be as you find yourself again in this ‘new world’. In fact, I believe it’s our jobs to create the light, to build hope, to figure out how we can best contribute to a worn out and weary society. It’s the reconstruction phase that is the most hopeful and gives us a view of the light at the end of the tunnel.
Despite all of the chaos, it appears we are all inching forward — we are rebuilding our relationships, seeing past the divisiveness, realizing that most people bring best intentions to each situation and truly do want to help. And, that we are not alone.
As I studied the reconstruction phase throughout history, there wasn’t a time where people didn’t come together following crises. Individuals realized that their lives, work, relationships, choices may no longer server their best interest. Renaissance periods followed where meaningful choices were made, thought processes changed, creativity prevailed, and hope and celebration of life became the norm.
Here’s an excerpt from a fascinating look at how our current pandemic compares to the bubonic plague in terms of what our future may look like:
“Great crises tend to bring profound social change, for good or ill. The consequences of wars and economic depressions have been amply studied; the consequences of pandemics, less so. This spring, in order to understand our possible future, I decided to look at the past through the eyes of Gianna Pomata, a retired professor at the Institute of the History of Medicine, at Johns Hopkins University. When we first talked on Skype, she immediately compared covid-19 to the bubonic plague that struck Europe in the fourteenth century—“not in the number of dead but in terms of shaking up the way people think.” She went on, “The Black Death really marks the end of the Middle Ages and the beginning of something else.” That something else was the Renaissance.” https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/07/20/how-pandemics-wreak-havoc-and-open-minds
So what does this all mean? It is time for us to create the light at the end of the tunnel and to make our way into reconstruction as we enter our renaissance phase. How can we do that?
Choose meaningful work – we spend more time with our ‘work families’ than our own family. Don’t let a toxic work environment beat you down. We each have talents and skills that this new world needs. I spent the most beautiful day yesterday with dear friends who shared their passions for what they do and the choices they are making to shift what they do – from creating a better space to support their work, to pursuing certification that provides freedom around their schedules and moves them away from the things that are not supporting their dreams. Their journey has been purposeful and gradual, they haven’t changed goals along the way, just their approaches as things may not have unfolded the way they hoped. Their determination and passion continues to prevail as they live their dreams more and more each day.
Many others are exploring new careers, entrepreneurship and when possible, early retirement. These paths may not be easy, but if we can keep them meaningful and look for the growth and progress, they may not be as painful or scary.
Know that you can love what you do and the people you care for and still be burned out. I’ve recorded a few vlogs on burnout and working through the stress response cycle. I’ll be publishing more on-demand resources to help support this through my Instagram account. For now, know that everything may not be ok, but that’s ok. I saw this on Facebook the other day and thought it was brilliant and reassuring.
Reach out to someone, a friend, a coworker, you are even welcome to contact me. You aren’t alone. Whether you need to vent or find hope again — or both, having an open conversation with someone who cares about you can be life-changing for you and for the other person who is most likely struggling too. You aren’t a burden, you are a major contributor to the reconstruction and renaissance phases that require humanity to step up and move forward. No heroics needed, just show up as you in whatever way that needs to happen each moment – vulnerable, hopeful, scared, or even embracing joyful moments. When possible, let all of that ripple out through social media, through your conversations, through your actions. Kindness and compassion are more contagious than any virus.
Whatever you decide to do, know that you aren’t alone. Life is a series of experiments and it is so much more manageable when you can step out of the day-to-day and treat the experiences you face with a curious mindset.
Every day I ‘play’ with my thoughts — “what if I don’t visit my Mom today at Memory Care but just call her”. She remembers me on the phone but not always in person, so let’s not drive 1.5 hours, let’s use that time for self-care and catch up on snuggles with my little family.” Perhaps it will backfire, perhaps it will be better than I imagine. No one is keeping score, so I’m just going to see how it will all unfold.
Gotta tell you, taking a break from a hellish work-week and drama around my Mom’s situation was so good for my soul Friday late afternoon. Jeff took me up to the Blue Ridge Parkway overlooks to see the snowy views. Even my Mom loved hearing about our journey when I called her later.
Find your joy my friends – I hope this has been useful as you look at the patterns around us and trust your heart and gut as you move forward in your own time, your own way.
Peace and love y’all as we make our way through our journeys!
I woke up this morning realizing that I’m really doing this! 🙂 I have picked up amazing consulting and contract opportunities and know that having an S-corporation, B-corporation or LLC would be good moves, but I hadn’t formalized our business approach yet. I spent a few minutes on a web site called Northwest Registered Agent reviewing all of the legal structures that made sense and created an LLC for our family. It allows us to consolidate our tax reporting, provides a federal registration number (EIN), and gives a structure so we can ‘do business as’ (DBA) a few different entities. For example, I am going to run Forged By Life as a DBA under the umbrella company JCE Weber (Jeff, Colleen and Emma Weber – our little family). Jeff is a contractor who can then put his income through the LLC, and Emma has some fascinating business ideas that could be run through the LLC.
I operated an S-Corp years ago and Jeff formed an LLC for my brother’s business, so we aren’t complete newbies around all of this. None of this is overly ‘scary’ – however, now it’s real! We are stepping into 2022 with phenomenal goals and focus. And now we are completely ‘legit’!!!!
Interview with Jennifer Hippensteel, author, holistic health practitioner, Reiki Master, business consultant – 12/31/21
“We all have those times when we feel low, down or concerned about things going on in our lives. However, sometimes we can get stuck in that dark place… the place that offers no answers or hope. This place of feeling stuck is not where we want to stay.”
The words written above and in this post are from a dear friend, intuitive guide, and holistic practitioner who has taught me practical and useful strategies over the years. From coping through the loss of my brother, to standing in my power and aligning my life choices with my soul’s purpose. No matter what you believe in or how you see the world right now, I know Jennifer Hippensteel’s wisdom and strategies are so worth sharing with each of you as we step with not-so- much confidence in 2022. Happy New Year all!
You say we don’t want to stay in these moments, how do I get out of them and avoid having them in the future?
I feel it is totally normal to have these moments, I also think its essential to not let those emotions linger for too long. Just know we can’t avoid them, they are part of our reality.
I allow myself 24 hours to wallow, to feel blue. Knowing that when I wake up the next day, I will have access to the answers needed and have renewed light and hope.
When I get stuck in these places, I don’t always know what I should be doing different. How do you manage through when you get stuck in the tunnel and don’t see the light at the end of it?
During my wallowing time I spend it alone. Writing, walking in nature, kayaking, taking a bath or reading a long-awaited book. I don’t usually reach out to anyone as it is my time – my time to get in touch and allow those dark thoughts and concerns to simmer. To acknowledge and embrace the thoughts and beliefs so when my 24 hours are up I can release them into the universe.
I appreciate that you are taking time for yourself and allowing the feelings and thoughts to work through you. I know we all experience these low points, but many of us have been taught to push through them.
If we can’t sit with ourselves in these times of low vibration, what are we really telling ourselves? Are we not worth the peace time? The break from our daily stressors? Are we not worthy of a day off from responsibilities and production?
I believe we are!
I know from my focus on burnout and compassion fatigue that avoiding working through the darkness and pain can have huge consequences for our emotional, mental, and physical health. What do you see happening if we don’t feel and release the darkness?
If we don’t allow ourselves to experience these shadow moments, they will slowly over time build up to much worse feelings. Feelings that will be harder to release. Feelings that can turn into longer-term depression or anxiety.
When these thoughts come to us say hello, invite them in and sit with them. But remember the 24-hour guideline. Know that once you have rested and fed your spirit YOU will be back feeling more positive and ready for what the new day will bring.
I spend most of my days counteracting the negative with positives. Things said, thoughts or actions taken. But what we should never do to ourselves is forget about the parts inside of us that still linger no matter how hard we counteract them. The parts that are yearning to be acknowledged and embraced. We cannot heal what we have not first embraced.
How do we know when it’s time to embrace the healing?
So, when you feel that heaviness, plan for its acceptance. Invite it to stay while you spend your 24 hours listening to its call. While you indulge with tools that help you relax. Discover what those are for you. The things that even when you feel low make you feel comforted.
Everything we feel is REAL to us. Pretending it isn’t only leads to more confusion, hurt and pain. Love yourself enough to allow all that you feel to just be…. But remember….. you’ve only got 24 hours… The clock is ticking… So make every wallowing hour count because tomorrow will be a new day full of blessings and answers and renewed hope. Let us journey on together, embracing all that makes us fabulous.
Jennifer is available for virtual sessions. Check out her web site and book a session that will heal – body, mind, and soul!
Since the pandemic hit, my role as a healthcare operations and leadership development focused specialist has moved quickly into championing diversity, equity, and inclusion toolkit creation over the past few years and now seems to be all about emotional well-being. I’ve witnessed a huge shift in the organizational matrix as HR also re-adjusts their focus.
While doing research around trends in HR for the next few years, I found an interesting article from Harvard Business Review about jobs around emotional well-being and other organizational roles. I’ve pulled a bit of content and an image that summarizes the 21 HR jobs of the future. The link to this article is at the bottom of this post. I encourage you to read the full article, especially if you are in the world of HR. Although the focus is ‘future’, I found quite a few jobs that matched the job titles referenced below.
Summary (from Harvard Business Review): The Cognizant Center for Future of Work and Future Workplace jointly embarked on a nine-month initiative to determine exactly what the future of HR will look like. They brought together a network of nearly 100 CHROs, CLOs, and VP’s of talent and workforce transformation to envision how HR’s role might evolve over the next 10 years. The result was the conception of over 21 new HR jobs, including detailed responsibilities and skills needed to succeed in each role. While some of the roles are entirely new positions, others are new responsibilities that are becoming increasingly important. All 21 jobs embody five core themes: individual and organizational resilience; organizational trust and safety; creativity and innovation; data literacy; human-machine partnerships
I’m supporting so many of my friends and colleagues as they deal with burnout, are choosing to walk off the job, and as they lose their way in this chaotic and complicated world of work. As a professional job coach and resume writer I’ve mastered the art of finding the right jobs for each of my clients. What worked pre-lockdown can still work, but the goal now is to find the job that makes you feel energized, genuinely valued, and that you truly want to wake up and do.
I’m a big proponent of having something for work that pays the bills and maximizes your talents. If you can have all the feel good stuff too, bonus. You may need to create something ‘on-the-side’ that adds those elements for you. Everyone seems to have a dream of what they really want to do. I’d love to help you explore your dreams and bring them to reality.
No matter what, it’s time to show up for work as you – standing in your voice and your talents. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk it out and explore what’s possible. Until then, here are my favorite resources for doing you – in a way that generates income, flow, and takes you one step closer to that perfect job(s). Enjoy!
Top Growing Companies in the US– Personal Note: I don’t think going to an existing company that is hiring because if the Great Resignation is necessarily the best move. Don’t go from one toxic environment to another. Go to companies that are growing and expanding, those that have the right momentum and growth mindset.
Struggling with life, with work, with being? 