BLOG POST AND PODCAST :: From Crisis to Renaissance

10 minute podcast of this blog post is also available here

It blows my mind how many people I know are experiencing absurd situations, heightened family issues, toxic work environments, burnout, and all out chaos. Based on human history, my own life experience, and what I call ‘deep knowing’, I don’t think this all out craziness is cause for concern, technically. I think we are hitting a tipping point — in a good way.

Many of us have been digging deep and finding levels of strength we’ve never had to experience at this level, for this duration – in such trying times. And, for whatever reasons, due to what ever subconscious or conscious choices we make, we may feel isolated and alone. Not because people don’t care, but because we are ‘keeping distance’, internalizing, and trying to just deal with the darkness and stress that is keeping us stuck in our tunnels. In fact, it might feel safer to be stuck than to venture out into the world…and may have for almost two years now!

I know personally, I spent last year avoiding asking for help and talking to people that sincerely care for me, because I felt I was depressing to be around, all I could do was put on a ‘brave face’, but would feel worse when left to the chatter in my head and stories I had chosen to believe. And in so many ways I felt completely alone.

As I turned my focus to emotional well-being for myself and my healthcare colleagues who were also struggling after riding the high of being superheroes giving up everything to keep the lights on and maintain safety for our people and patients, I began to realize that I wasn’t truly alone. In fact, there were many others who felt like I did.

I was being tasked with building emotional well-being resources with a focus on compassion fatigue and burnout. I have technically become an expert in those areas with a focus on the science behind emotions, the stress response cycle, and how to work through burnout, compassion fatigue, and PTSD.

When I was asked to go to Florida in December and present to a group of Clinical Nutritionists and Dietitians who work in our hospital systems, I was concerned that my anxiety would kick in, that the repeated traumas I had experienced over the past couple of years would bring me down to rock bottom again, that all my training and work would dissolve as I ventured hours away from the safe bubble of my isolated paradise in the mountains of Virginia. Instead I found the large group of participants so needed to hear my stories. They needed the science and the strategies. They needed to share their own stories. And I needed to prove to myself that I still could be around people, stay in a hotel, travel, laugh, celebrate with Jeff, embrace joy again.

Since that presentation, I have received requests to speak about the same topics and even be a co-presenter at a conference outside of the organization all around burnout, compassion fatigue, PTSD, and ‘new normal’ in general. One of the key messages that seems to resonate and spark hope with everyone is that we truly are just making our way through a really long and exhausting ‘road trip’. At some point, however, that road trip will transform into something positive and meaningful. If you look at how pandemics, plagues, significant traumas work, they have patterns. With situations like the one we are in with the lockdowns, the Great Resignation, and all of the shifting sands there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Take a look at the below Psychological Phases of Disaster. You can apply this to individual or collective trauma / disaster. Whether I think about 9/11, my Dad’s passing, or even the current pandemic, I’ve seen all of these phases and envision myself at the last blue arrow. I’ve been to this place a couple of times in the past few years, and thought I was almost out of the tunnel, but bam, I got knocked on my ass a few times and had to revisit some parts of the process.

Others I know or work with may be at the disillusionment phase or the 2nd to the last arrow just trying to come to terms with everything. There’s no ‘right or wrong’ in all this. Grief is not linear, nor do we all process through things in the same way. We each have our own journey, however, you may see some similarities as we all travel the road to reconstruction and new beginnings.

At the end of the day though, that light at the end of the tunnel is our hope. It is whatever you need it to be as you find yourself again in this ‘new world’. In fact, I believe it’s our jobs to create the light, to build hope, to figure out how we can best contribute to a worn out and weary society. It’s the reconstruction phase that is the most hopeful and gives us a view of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Despite all of the chaos, it appears we are all inching forward — we are rebuilding our relationships, seeing past the divisiveness, realizing that most people bring best intentions to each situation and truly do want to help. And, that we are not alone.

As I studied the reconstruction phase throughout history, there wasn’t a time where people didn’t come together following crises. Individuals realized that their lives, work, relationships, choices may no longer server their best interest. Renaissance periods followed where meaningful choices were made, thought processes changed, creativity prevailed, and hope and celebration of life became the norm.

Here’s an excerpt from a fascinating look at how our current pandemic compares to the bubonic plague in terms of what our future may look like:

“Great crises tend to bring profound social change, for good or ill. The consequences of wars and economic depressions have been amply studied; the consequences of pandemics, less so. This spring, in order to understand our possible future, I decided to look at the past through the eyes of Gianna Pomata, a retired professor at the Institute of the History of Medicine, at Johns Hopkins University. When we first talked on Skype, she immediately compared covid-19 to the bubonic plague that struck Europe in the fourteenth century—“not in the number of dead but in terms of shaking up the way people think.” She went on, “The Black Death really marks the end of the Middle Ages and the beginning of something else.” That something else was the Renaissance.”
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/07/20/how-pandemics-wreak-havoc-and-open-minds

So what does this all mean? It is time for us to create the light at the end of the tunnel and to make our way into reconstruction as we enter our renaissance phase. How can we do that?

Choose meaningful work – we spend more time with our ‘work families’ than our own family. Don’t let a toxic work environment beat you down. We each have talents and skills that this new world needs. I spent the most beautiful day yesterday with dear friends who shared their passions for what they do and the choices they are making to shift what they do – from creating a better space to support their work, to pursuing certification that provides freedom around their schedules and moves them away from the things that are not supporting their dreams. Their journey has been purposeful and gradual, they haven’t changed goals along the way, just their approaches as things may not have unfolded the way they hoped. Their determination and passion continues to prevail as they live their dreams more and more each day.

Many others are exploring new careers, entrepreneurship and when possible, early retirement. These paths may not be easy, but if we can keep them meaningful and look for the growth and progress, they may not be as painful or scary.

Know that you can love what you do and the people you care for and still be burned out. I’ve recorded a few vlogs on burnout and working through the stress response cycle. I’ll be publishing more on-demand resources to help support this through my Instagram account. For now, know that everything may not be ok, but that’s ok. I saw this on Facebook the other day and thought it was brilliant and reassuring.

Reach out to someone, a friend, a coworker, you are even welcome to contact me. You aren’t alone. Whether you need to vent or find hope again — or both, having an open conversation with someone who cares about you can be life-changing for you and for the other person who is most likely struggling too. You aren’t a burden, you are a major contributor to the reconstruction and renaissance phases that require humanity to step up and move forward. No heroics needed, just show up as you in whatever way that needs to happen each moment – vulnerable, hopeful, scared, or even embracing joyful moments. When possible, let all of that ripple out through social media, through your conversations, through your actions. Kindness and compassion are more contagious than any virus.

Whatever you decide to do, know that you aren’t alone. Life is a series of experiments and it is so much more manageable when you can step out of the day-to-day and treat the experiences you face with a curious mindset.

Every day I ‘play’ with my thoughts — “what if I don’t visit my Mom today at Memory Care but just call her”. She remembers me on the phone but not always in person, so let’s not drive 1.5 hours, let’s use that time for self-care and catch up on snuggles with my little family.” Perhaps it will backfire, perhaps it will be better than I imagine. No one is keeping score, so I’m just going to see how it will all unfold.

Find your joy my friends – I hope this has been useful as you look at the patterns around us and trust your heart and gut as you move forward in your own time, your own way.

Peace and love y’all as we make our way through our journeys!